Sunday we celebrated our 6th anniversary! We took the kids to a park near our house where we had lunch, watched people fish, went exploring, or as little Jorge calls it, we went on an adventure, and found an open field to run around in and be silly for a while. It was a great day!

Just as I was having these wonderful thoughts, my little Christian said, "I hate you mommy."  And my thoughts turned to what if they get mad at me and hate me and banish me from their lives?  What if I don't get to hold those babies and do the whole "Now you understand" thing with my kids?  I can't imagine the pain and sadness I would feel not being a part of their lives.  

So I googled this thought to see what mistakes I could avoid to keep this from happening.  You'll never believe the stories I found.  There are millions of parents who have been estranged from their children.  It is not an uncommon thing.  And most of them feel like no matter what they did it was going to happen.  But why?  Why is it so normal for children to hate their parents when we have nothing but good intentions for them?  Given, no one is perfect and we make mistakes that may hurt our children but I also think it is safe to say that most of us do our best to take care of our children and keep them as happy as we can.  Times come when we do have to do things that they don't like but, as adults, do they not understand that?  Especially when they have their own children and are making mistakes themselves or having to do things they know will hurt their children but is best in the long run?

I always knew that I loved my parents and that they loved me but it wasn't until I had my own children that I truly understood how much my parents loved me and my siblings.  The love I have for my children is unconditional and eternal.  No matter what they do, no matter how much they hate me, I will never stop loving them.  Being a parent is the hardest job in the world and yet I wouldn't give it up for the world.  And what parent doesn't feel that way about their children?  SO how do children grow to hate someone that loves them so much?

There is a point to this just hang in there with me.

For those of you who know me I love watching Desperate Housewives, it is not all about sex and lies.  Last night they showed an episode where one of the women had a son that they felt they could not take care of so when she and her husband divorced she gave him full custody.  One woman asked her, "Aren't you afraid he will hate you when he grows up?"  And she replied, "It may be a mistake but its worth the risk."  She knew it could be a mistake and that he would probably hate her but she made the choice she thought was best.  She put his well being ahead of her own feelings and gave him to her husband who she knew would take good care of him.  And did he hate her?  Yes, he did.

It seems there is a pretty good chance that at least one of our children will grow up to hate us.  It seems to be a never ending cycle.  We are not perfect.  It is not possible to do the right thing every time or with every child.  And there is nothing we can do but keep doing our best and wait until they grow up and have their own children and hope that then they realize the love a parent has for their child or children and the sacrifices that were made to raise them.

I pray that my children will look past my mistakes and only see the love I have for them.  And how I only desire the best for each one of them.  That they will know that even if we disagree or don't like something the other has done I can forget about it and enjoy all the other extraordinary things about them and I pray they can too.  I pray that they will grow to be understanding and forgiving parents themselves.  That they will find supportive spouses who will help them through the hard times and come out better people for it.

I am grateful for parents who have set just that example.  Their forgiveness and understanding is unending.  Their patience is incredible and their love undeniable.  I am reminded daily by my husband, whose parents are deceased, of how much I will miss them when they are gone no matter what kind of a relationship we had.  I am also thankful to have Jorge as my husband.  He is there for me through thick and thin and always helping me to be a better person.  I couldn't do it without him.  And last, I am eternally grateful for my children.  For Jorge and his loving spirit.  For Christian and his joyful spirit.  And for Isabelle and her mix of the two.  And the opportunity to be a parent and learn all the things children have to teach us.

Its time to catch up!  Here we are waiting to see Santa, 2 hours and some later...sooo cooold.

I don't make goodies too often but when I do everyone gets a lick!

We spent over an hour cleaning the basement one afternoon so I told the kids, "Please clean up what you play with and THIS CLOSET IS OFF LIMITS!".  A few minutes later I'm thinking its a little quiet down there...this is what I found along with a HUGE mess.  But they are so cute!  And they were stuck!  :)

We were trying to grow out Jorge's hair and every morning it got funnier and funnier.  It has a mind of its own!

She's getting big!  She talks, she walks, she lets me do her hair...  :)

She is not camera shy!














She loves to pose, especially when her brothers are with her.

Poor Christian, as I'm blogging I noticed I have no pictures of Christian.  Guess he's going to have a day just for him and the camera.  This day he was so sick.  Double ear infections and wheezing but he never complained.  Tough kid.

Two different days, if this doesn't say neglect then I don't know what does.  :)



















I love playing with her hair!  This was just for fun but you should see it when it dries and I take it out.  Holy curls!

We are expecting!

Here are the proud parents of I don't know how many fry.  Lots!  They layed eggs today and according a website on how to take care of them, we should have little betas in about a week.  We're so excited!  Can anyone donate a bunch of little fish tanks?  :)